A Guide to the Survival Guide:

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Your #1 Guide to Being Exactly Like Me

Each day is a chance to name the rules of life: what to watch out for, who to cling to, how to do things better, or how to arbitrarily create a structure of reality that only you can see.

I spend at least one moment of every day thinking of maxims I can tell my hypothetical kids, so that they can navigate reality in the same twisted way I manage to.

Ex.”Trust everyone, especially liars. You can always trust a liar to keep lying”.

Ex.”Smart people talk to themselves”.

Ex.”Attractive celebrities are sociopaths”.

I create generalizations that have little or no connection to the rules I’ve created, but which flow from them in a way that makes total sense.

Ex.”The prettiest woman you know, has the weirdest vagina you’ve ever seen”.

Ex.”Men who have foot fetishes respect women”.

Great generalizations like these can keep me going through all the worst parts of living: dealing with bosses, losing love, being tricked… there should be a survival guide for people like me, people who need rules.

I’ve decided to share my maxims and baseless observations with the world through my blog. After all, what’s the point in imagining a survival guide if you can’t share it with imaginary readers?


Author: Sandra C. Hannebohm

Political science major, some french and a lot of concern about the state of things.

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